A few years ago, I found myself feeling anxious all the time.
Not "big scary life event" anxious. More like constantly rushing, constantly behind, and constantly thinking about the next thing I needed to do. My mind was always racing. My fuse was short. I was stressed out over things that probably didn't deserve that much of my energy, and unfortunately, the people closest to me often got the worst version of me.
Poor Barrett. Thank goodness one of us is emotionally stable.
Around that time, I started talking to a therapist. During one of our sessions, we were trying to figure out why I felt so anxious all the time and asked me to walk her through a typical day. It didn't take her long to find my red flag.
I told her my alarm went off at 4:50 AM and that I usually snoozed until about 5:30. Sometimes 5:40.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that when I feeling really ambitious, I could snooze for almost an hour. I've always been a world-class snoozer.
She immediately stopped me.
"Wait. You snooze for almost 40 minutes every morning?"
I nodded...expecting to have already moved on to find the real problem.
Then she said something that completely changed the way I look at my mornings.
She explained that I was starting every day in a battle with myself. Every morning, I was making a promise:
"I'm getting up at 4:50."
Then for the next 40 minutes, I argued with myself.
Five more minutes.
Okay, now I'll get up.
Actually, ten more.
I'll get up at :15.
No, :20.
Shoot. Now I'm running late.
Before I even got out of bed, I had already broken a promise to myself.
She explained that little arguments like that didn't just disappear when I finally got out of bed.
They set the tone for the rest of the day. I was teaching myself that my plans were negotiable, that I could put things off a little longer, and that rushing was normal. By the time I started my day, I already felt behind.
Her advice was surprisingly simple:
"Set your alarm for the time you actually want to get up. Then get up."
That's it.
No secret morning routine.
No meditation app.
No magical hack.
Just get up.
Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to do it.
But I decided to try it.
That was about three years ago, and if I'm being completely honest, it's still hard. Every single morning, when that alarm goes off, there is a tiny part of me that wants to negotiate.
The difference is that now I don't.
I even bought one of those obnoxious old-school alarms with the loud beeping sound that belongs in a 1990s hotel room. The kind you have to physically get out of bed to turn off.
Because I know myself.
If my phone is my alarm and is sitting next to my bed, there's a very good chance I'll silence it, convince myself I'm just resting my eyes for a minute, and wake up 45 minutes later wondering what year it is.
So now I get up.
No negotiation.
No debate.
No internal argument.
Just up.
What's funny is that I didn't notice some huge life-changing transformation right away. There wasn't some magical moment where I suddenly became calmer or more patient.
And don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. I still get stressed and overwhelmed, and I still catch myself rushing through things from time to time. The difference is that those feelings no longer seem to run the whole show.
Instead, the change was much more subtle.
Over time, I started noticing little things.
I felt less frantic.
Less rushed.
Less overwhelmed.
My patience improved, and I stopped feeling like I was constantly playing catch-up. I became better at keeping small promises to myself, and it turns out that's where confidence comes from.
Not from doing huge impressive things, but from repeatedly proving to yourself that you'll do what you said you were going to do.
Looking back, I don't think the alarm clock was really about waking up earlier.
It was about creating one small daily win.
One small moment where my actions matched my intentions.
Most of us spend a lot of time waiting for motivation to show up before we take action. But sometimes... action comes first. Sometimes the smallest habits create the biggest shifts. One decision. One promise. One alarm clock. Damn alarm clock, I still hate it.
Over time, those small wins start to change the way you see yourself.
So if you're looking for a mindset tip this week, here's the best advice my therapist ever gave me:
Set your alarm for the time you actually want to get up.
Then get up.
Simple.
Not easy.
But simple.
It also makes me wonder: do you snooze? or have a habit like that in your own life? Something small that doesn't seem like a big deal but might be creating more stress, frustration, or resistance than it needs to?
Sometimes the thing that's holding us back isn't a big problem. Sometimes it's just a small habit we've repeated so many times that we don't even notice it anymore.